4 Things to Remind Yourself When You Feel Like Giving Up
We all have been through a situation when we wish that we could stop existing. Like we’re stuck in a bottomless ravine and can’t seem to pull ourselves back up.
It’s okay to feel this way sometimes, but it is crucial to ensure that we don’t stay in that state for too long. So, here, I’ll share the 4 things I remind myself of every time I want to give up on myself.
1. You are in complete control
Most of the time, I start feeling anxious and overwhelmed when faced with a problem because I think everything is caused by outside forces. To an extent, that is true. Sometimes, life gets in the way, and there is nothing that we can do to control it. But we are not on autopilot. We can take the wheel any time we want and navigate the plane to our destination.
It is easy to lose perspective, so this is always the first reminder I tell myself.
- When my heart beats out of control, and my breathing is in disarray, I repeat a series of dhikr.
- When my brain is scattered, and I can’t focus on doing anything, I’ll get dressed, go out for a short walk around the block, come back, and write out what worries me. Then, I’ll work out a solution from there.
This brings me to the next reminder.
2. Only care about things that you can control.
Once I’m convinced that I’m in control of my life, it’s easy to spiral out because I lack directionality. Sometimes, even after I write out a long list of things bothering me, I get anxious and nervous again because there are so many things but so little time.
So, don’t write things out blindly. Start with clarifying my purpose of writing an entry and what I hope to come out of it. Then, the golden rule:
- Divide the page into half
- Categorize the things that worry us into
1. things that we can do something about,
2. things that we can’t do anything about
And yes, ONLY CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT WE CAN CONTROL. Once we start working on what we can control one by one, the grip on our imaginary steering wheel will be firmer, which will boost our inner confidence jointly.
Now, on to the next reminder.
3. Good things take time.
When we were younger, it was easy to progress in life.
Kindergarten → Primary School → High School → University
This flow of life works effortlessly in the first 16 years of our life. We also know what to do next.
Then, in our 20s, we feel lost because there are no guidelines. You can do anything you want to with your life after graduating from university.
To some, it’s affirming and guarantees freedom. But to some others, it’s nerve-wracking to start because we’re used to being told what to do. We’re not good at creating something for ourselves because we’re used to following orders.
I am the latter. I am lost still. Especially when I see many people achieving their success and financial freedom in their early 20s. Unconsciously, I performed a disservice because I compared my mere beginning to everyone’s ending. After taking time off YouTube and Instagram, I started building things for myself. My sacred routine, eating habits, inner dialogue, and future plans.
It is simple for some people but was significantly hard for me because I had no self-discipline. But the time off of other people’s lives was very worth it. And it has been almost 4 months, which to me is a very long time. So, yes, good things take some time.
Fruits take time to ripe; flowers take time to bloom. So, why should you be any different? Take your time to grow.
4. You are worth saving.
Because this “giving up phase” is a typical cycle in my life, I needed a more significant affirmation to remind myself of, so I chose this short and sweet phrase:
“I have a place in the world.”
As I started to create a life for myself, I desperately tried to find a home. So, I began to define what home means to me.
I grew up pleasing people around me, which automatically made me think it was necessary to attach my home to someone. Of course, this method couldn’t work anymore because I had to create a home within myself so that my career and personal relationships can blossom.
So, that’s what I did.
I defined my values and truly believed that I belonged in this world. So, I will provide value to my community and contribute in the ways I can.
I believe that I am worth saving from that deep ravine, that one day I will help someone in need. But for now, I just need to help myself, to find a way to get out of the dark, lonely hole.
These are the reminders that I built for myself. It is a mere guideline of how this list came to existence. Upon reading this, I want to remind you that this is not a template.
Create something for yourself. We have inherently distinct traits and coping mechanisms. So, what thoroughly worked for me may work partially for you.
I’m telling you this because this is a constant mistake that I made, and, unfortunately, I have wasted a few years of my life because of it. I duplicated someone else’s recipe without taking my taste pellet into consideration. So, create your own reminders and remember that it takes time.
I hope that my article helps you and maybe, gets you out of your slump and decide to take control of your life. Because, in the end, you wouldn’t want your lives to be controlled by other people. So, take control and have a great day!